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I have had this conversation about love with my Ethiopian friends.
Have you ever heard your parents say ‘I love you’ to each other?
There would be laughter as a response. I don’t know a single person that said that they did.
Saying I love you isn’t done.
It feels culturally wrong ..and worse .. unnecessary.
This isn’t only about romantic love either. Children aren’t use to hearing their parents say those words to them. A lot of us didn’t realize that it was missing until we left Ethiopia or saw movies about life in the West.
A few of my friends were curious about the why. In a culture where relationships and love was abundant and necessary, why is a declaration of love missing?
There are some theories that try to explain it.
- We don’t need to… action speaks louder than words — is one common proud response.
- Our language doesn’t make it easy — is another response.
- Why do we have to — is another one.
I want to understand the cultural aspect of demonstrating love.
Why is it that Americans say ‘I love you’ so often?
Is there an impact positively or negatively?
Do humans need to hear it said at a certain frequency?
I don’t have the answers but I find myself telling my nephew and niece that I love them many times over. Each time I see them.
